Funny Secret Santa gifts for adults that are kind, never crude

The best funny Secret Santa gifts are small, useful things with a joke the whole room gets, and each one here costs £15 or less. Browse the full range in our Secret Santa gifts collection. These five are where we would start:

• You Are My Lobster mug (£5.99): for the friend who knows why a lobster means true love. A red lobster is printed inside the striped 350 ml mug.
• Sardine bottle opener in a tin (£6.99): for the colleague who brings drinks to every leaving do. The fish-shaped opener comes in a mini sardine tin.
• No Stupid People metal sign (£5.99): for a friend with a dry sense of humour. It measures 30 by 20 cm, so it fits a shed, a garage or a front door.
• Pigs in Blankets salt and pepper shakers (£9.99): for whoever hosts Christmas dinner. You get two ceramic pigs in red and green knitted blankets.
• Good Witch, Bad Witch stemless glass (£6.99): for the friend who can be either, depending on the day. It comes in a gift box.

Each one raises a smile when it's unwrapped and is still useful in January.

A funny mug is the safest laugh in any Secret Santa. Everyone drinks something, and the joke comes back every morning. If a colleague is grumpy before their first tea, try the Skeleton Hand mug (£9.99). It's a 350 ml dolomite mug for anyone who feels dead without a cuppa. Book lovers who would rather stay in will get the joke on the My Weekend Is Fully Booked mug (£5.99), which also holds 350 ml.

Some people take their tea seriously and their horoscope even more so. The Let Me Consult My Crystals mug (£9.99) is a rounded black 500 ml mug with a gold foil crescent moon, big enough for a long think. A friend with a darker streak will like the Steven Rhodes Witches' Brew cauldron mug (£9.99). It's shaped like a 430 ml cauldron and can go in the dishwasher and microwave.

Want it to feel like a little set? The Bad Witch Social Club mug and coaster (£8.99) pairs a 340 ml mug with a matching coaster, both with a green witch hat design.

Food jokes work because nobody takes offence at a sardine. The Sardine salt and pepper shakers (£9.99) are a pair of ceramic fish for a foodie or a sea lover, and they still look good on the table once the laugh is over.

Pizza fans get two candles that smell like the real thing. The Pizza Scented candle (£6.99) is a glass candle that smells of freshly baked dough with a touch of olive oil, and it burns for about 40 hours. Its sister, the Pizza Scented tube candle (£6.99), has a sweet and spicy scent and a pizza parlour tile design. It burns for about 55 hours, so it suits someone who will actually light it.

For a seasonal joke, the Christmas sprout glass decoration (£7.00) is a sprout in a red hat with rosy cheeks and hand-painted leaves. It's a gentle way to tease the sprout hater in the office, and it can go back on the tree every December.

Desk gifts are the classic office Secret Santa: they get used at work, and the joke stays on show. A notebook is also a safe choice when you barely know someone, because everyone needs somewhere to write a to-do list.

The Cryptid Research Team notebook (£5.99) is A5 with 200 lined pages for sightings, sketches and Bigfoot doodles. Give it to the colleague who loves a mystery. The Misfortune Teller A5 notebook (£7.99) has ominous warnings on the cover, a ribbon marker and an elastic closure. It suits whoever takes notes in meetings that never seem to end.

If someone wears black and has a soft heart, try the Flamin-goth notebook with patch (£6.99). It has a skeletal flamingo design, an embroidered patch on the cover and a sheet of creepy-cute stickers.

The biggest pick here is the Cult Book Club storage box (£12.99). This book-shaped box by Steven Rhodes sits on a shelf and hides snacks, incense or conspiracy theories in plain sight. Give it to the office snack fan, with love.

A funny candle is a softer kind of joke: it smells good, looks good and teases gently. The No Bad Vibes spell candle kit (£6.99) comes in a window box with 12 black unscented spell candles, a wooden holder and a written spell. It's a fun way to protect a colleague from Monday meetings.

For a friend who feels everything deeply, the Sad Flower coconut rose candle (£9.99) comes in a checkerboard glass with a sad flower design and burns for about 35 hours. The One Year Closer lemon cake candle (£9.99) is an officially licensed Steven Rhodes candle, 10 cm tall, with 35 hours of burn time. It suits a friend with a December birthday.

Coffee drinkers will enjoy the Witches Brew oat milk latte candle (£9.99). It shows a coven of coffee lovers, burns for about 35 hours and comes in a gift box.

Not sure they light candles at all? A mug is the safer swap.

Spend what the group agreed. If nobody set a limit, £10 is a fair amount for an office swap. Everything in this guide costs £15 or less, and you'll find plenty more in our Gifts under £10 range.

Aim the joke at a hobby or a habit, never at someone's body, money or love life. Tease their tea habit, their love of pizza or their interest in crystals. Skip anything they would have to explain to their boss. A good test: would you be happy to watch them open it in front of the whole team?

If you hardly know the person, choose a gift that works on its own, like a mug or a notebook. If you know them well, be more specific: a witchy candle for the friend who reads tarot, or a sardine gift for the one who lives by the sea.

To keep your name a secret, send the gift straight to the office or to their home.

Every gift in this guide is marked same-day dispatch, so your last order date for Christmas is noon on Thursday 17 December. If your office swap is in early December, order sooner and check the dates on the product page.

Gift type	Last order for Christmas
Same-day dispatch gifts	noon on Thursday 17 December
Standard dispatch gifts	noon on Wednesday 9 December

If you order same-day dispatch gifts by noon, Monday to Friday, they leave our partner's warehouse that day. Tracked delivery costs £3.95. In-stock gifts travel free to the UK mainland when your order comes to £45 or more. Personalised gifts are made to order and have their own delivery charge of £4.95. Each product page shows the expected delivery dates before you pay, and gifts that aren't personalised can be returned within 14 days.